{"id":10448,"date":"2026-01-07T16:44:37","date_gmt":"2026-01-08T00:44:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/?p=10448"},"modified":"2026-01-07T16:44:37","modified_gmt":"2026-01-08T00:44:37","slug":"partner-or-girlfriend-why-it-matters-what-we-call-the-people-we-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/?p=10448","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Partner\u2019 or \u2018girlfriend\u2019? Why it matters what we call the people we date"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<div id=\"main\">\n<div>\n<div class=\"hydrate-root sc-10wlkbs-0\" data-component=\"SupportNSCNative\" data-loading=\"lazy\" data-theme-name=\"base\">\n<aside class=\"sc-hez36s-0 dFpFuY\">\n<div class=\"sc-hez36s-1 iBibVd\">\n<h3 data-testid=\"support-nsc-title\" class=\"sc-hez36s-2 jVZWGn\">Your support helps us to tell the story<\/h3>\n<div class=\"sc-hez36s-8 juUDRT\">\n<div class=\"sc-hez36s-13 cqPbFA\">\n<div class=\"sc-aja53j-0 rAFIl sc-hez36s-16 jZSKtc\">\n<div class=\"sc-aja53j-6 PdmgT\">\n<div data-testid=\"dropdown-with-gradient-collapsed-content-container\" class=\"sc-aja53j-5 eZqxmv\">\n<div>\n<div data-testid=\"dropdown-with-gradient-collapsed-content\" class=\"sc-aja53j-4 tawua\">\n<div>\n<div data-testid=\"support-nsc-collapsed-content-tablet\" class=\"sc-hez36s-7 gZmYS\">\n<p class=\"sc-1uza6dc-0 iCTyfe\">From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it&#8217;s investigating the financials of Elon Musk&#8217;s pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, &#8216;The A Word&#8217;, which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-1uza6dc-0 iCTyfe\">At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-1uza6dc-0 iCTyfe\">The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.<\/p>\n<p><strong class=\"sc-1uza6dc-1 cglitp\">Your support makes all the difference.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><button class=\"sc-aja53j-1 keLMOw sc-aja53j-7 eMEmGu\"><span data-testid=\"dropdown-with-gradient-dropdown-tablet\" class=\"sc-aja53j-3 dHXFkr\"><span data-action-type=\"Read more\" class=\"sc-aja53j-2 dcYUYI\">Read more<\/span><svg class=\"sc-eaj12q-0 hUgQwJ sc-culv3z-0 eifaJK sc-a5wy94-0 hyKPon\"><use href=\"#ee6613da15642019\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/button><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><span class=\"big-letter\">W<\/span>hat\u2019s in a name? Well, rather a lot, actually \u2013 at least when it comes to the person you\u2019re dating. Over the weekend, Timoth\u00e9e Chalamet made headlines for thanking his \u201cpartner of three years\u201d, aka Kylie Jenner, during his acceptance speech at the Critics Choice Awards in LA, where he took home the gong for Best Actor. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cLastly, I&#8217;ll just say thank you to my partner of three years,\u201d the 30-year-old said after thanking the litany of collaborators who worked with him on <em>Marty Supreme<\/em>. \u201cThank you for our foundation,\u201d he continued. \u201cI love you. I couldn&#8217;t do this without you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was a sweet public display of affection from the star of <em>Marty Supreme<\/em>, but declarations aside, it was his choice of wording that seemed to capture the internet\u2019s attention. \u201cIn Hollywood, \u2018partner\u2019 is more serious than \u2018girlfriend\u2019,\u201d speculated one fan. \u201cIt suggests equality, commitment, and walking through life together.\u201d Others argued the opposite, believing \u201cpartner\u201d to be a term of emotional distance. \u201cHe\u2019s not gonna say Kylie\u2019s name? Just thank you to \u2018my partner\u2019 lmao [sic],\u201d tweeted one person.<\/p>\n<p>The moment highlighted just how contentious these labels can be. And there are plenty of them. In addition to \u201cgirlfriend\u201d, \u201cboyfriend\u201d and \u201cpartner\u201d, other modern-day relationship monikers include the saccharine \u201cmy love\u201d, the somewhat condescending \u201cbabe\u201d, and archaic terms like \u201csignificant other\u201d and \u201cother half\u201d. And don\u2019t get me started on \u201cmy better half\u201d. There\u2019s also \u201cbae\u201d, \u201cboo\u201d, and a myriad of niche alternatives ranging from the adorable (\u201clove bug\u201d) to the nauseating (\u201cpookie\u201d). <\/p>\n<p>In LGBT+ communities, the word \u201cpartner\u201d has long been commonplace, given its gender neutrality. It also does not indicate one\u2019s marital status, which is seen as being progressive for some. In 2023, <em>The Cut<\/em> declared the term \u201cannoyingly vague\u201d and stated that straight people could only use it when they wanted to get something out of it ie: \u201cwhen trying to procure an apartment or a seat next to your, ahem, \u2018partner\u2019 on an airplane and in negotiations with bosses about relocations\u201d. <\/p>\n<p>But any existing resistance seems to be fading. \u201c\u2018Partner\u2019 has grown in popularity because it reflects a more mature form of relating,\u201d suggests the relationship coach and author Lorin Krenn. \u201cThe person you build a life with is, in many ways, your partner. It speaks to shared responsibility, equality, and emotional adulthood.\u201d The ambiguity surrounding the term is also part of its appeal. <\/p>\n<div class=\"sc-awdjp1-2 cbpRGD sc-awdjp1-3 image align-center\">\n<figure class=\"sc-1cbdeug-0 cXcwgU\">\n<div class=\"sc-awdjp1-0 fjxSf\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.the-independent.com\/2026\/01\/06\/10\/45\/Cold-Stone-Creamery-Wetzels-Pretzels-At-The-31st-Critics-Choice-Awards-sbihekuo.jpeg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/static.the-independent.com\/2026\/01\/06\/10\/45\/Cold-Stone-Creamery-Wetzels-Pretzels-At-The-31st-Critics-Choice-Awards-sbihekuo.jpeg?quality=75&amp;width=320&amp;auto=webp 320w, https:\/\/static.the-independent.com\/2026\/01\/06\/10\/45\/Cold-Stone-Creamery-Wetzels-Pretzels-At-The-31st-Critics-Choice-Awards-sbihekuo.jpeg?quality=75&amp;width=640&amp;auto=webp 640w\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"The couple (pictured at the Critics Choice Awards on Sunday) have been dating for three years.\" class=\"sc-1mc30lb-0 ggpMaE\"\/><\/div><figcaption class=\"sc-1cbdeug-1 sc-1cbdeug-3 gtVitN hgzWpY\">The couple (pictured at the Critics Choice Awards on Sunday) have been dating for three years.<span class=\"sc-1cbdeug-7 exGSyR\"> <!-- -->(<!-- -->Getty<!-- -->)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<p>\u201cIt bypasses assumptions about marriage while remaining inclusive of many relationship structures,\u201d adds Krenn. \u201cIts rise has coincided with changing social norms around marriage, greater visibility of same sex relationships, and a cultural shift towards defining relationships by commitment rather than labels. Today, \u2018partner\u2019 signals seriousness and shared agency without needing to specify gender or legal status.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There are also certain contexts, particularly those involving shared finances or children, where terms like \u201cboyfriend\u201d and \u201cgirlfriend\u201d might feel juvenile or impractical. \u201cI prefer to say \u2018partner\u2019 or \u2018other half\u2019,\u201d says blogger Tina Bailey, 42. \u201cReferring to someone of our level of maturity as \u2018boyfriend\u2019 sounds completely wrong to me. I have teenage kids, and \u2018boyfriend or girlfriend\u2019 are terms kids their age use to describe their relationships, so using the same noun to describe an adult relationship of six years just doesn\u2019t sound right to me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>For El Brownn, 26, the opposite is true; being referred to as \u201cgirlfriend\u201d feels more affectionate. \u201cIt\u2019s simple but clearly communicates a romantic connection, and it has a warmth that \u2018partner\u2019 sometimes lacks,\u201d she says. \u201cIt feels like a title that belongs specifically to us, rather than something generic. \u2018Partner\u2019 works in certain contexts, like legal or professional situations.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It makes sense why some labels have fallen out of fashion; to many, \u201cother half\u201d bears the weight of societal single-shaming. The phrase inadvertently perpetuates the belief that someone is incomplete without a romantic partner \u2013 that they can only become a whole person through that relationship. \u201cThese days, we openly celebrate independence and self-definition, so relationship language tends to celebrate two complete individuals choosing each other, rather than merging them into a single identity,\u201d says Naomi Magnus, founder and psychotherapist at Low Cost Therapy. <\/p>\n<figure class=\"sc-1wzq3bw-0 sc-1wzq3bw-2 gXldal mbxVq\"><span class=\"sc-i07cwn-0 dvtoxw\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" id=\"7b73b88eb27c89ab\" viewbox=\"0 0 80 47\"><path fill=\"#eb1426\" d=\"M21.18 46.99c9.4 0 17.18-7.73 17.18-17.13 0-9.46-7.72-17.12-17.12-17.12A17.2 17.2 0 0 0 3.99 29.86c0 3.74 1.29 7.47 3.48 10.5l-.13.12A23.6 23.6 0 0 1 1.29 24.4c0-12.75 10.36-23.3 23.1-23.3a24 24 0 0 1 11.53 2.89l.57-.96A26 26 0 0 0 24.33 0 24.3 24.3 0 0 0 0 24.4c0 14.09 9.72 22.59 21.18 22.59m41.47 0c9.4 0 17.18-7.73 17.18-17.13 0-9.46-7.72-17.12-17.12-17.12a17.2 17.2 0 0 0-17.25 17.12c0 3.74 1.29 7.47 3.48 10.5l-.13.12a23.6 23.6 0 0 1-6.05-16.08c0-12.75 10.36-23.3 23.1-23.3a24 24 0 0 1 11.53 2.89l.58-.96A26 26 0 0 0 65.8 0a24.33 24.33 0 0 0-24.33 24.4c0 14.09 9.72 22.59 21.18 22.59\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/p>\n<div>\n<blockquote>\n<p>These days, we openly celebrate independence and self-definition, so relationship language tends to celebrate two complete individuals choosing each other, rather than merging them into a single identity<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<p>Naomi Magnus, founder and psychotherapist at Low Cost Therapy<\/p>\n<\/figure>\n<p>\u201cChoosing \u2018partner\u2019 over \u2018girlfriend\u2019 can also signal your personal values, or how you perceive your relationship, to others,\u201d Magnus adds. \u201cIt can imply seriousness, equality, and longevity, whereas for public figures, labels also shape narratives, controlling how much intimacy or information is shared with the outside world.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That clarity can be particularly meaningful in today\u2019s dating landscape, where trends like situationships can hinder progress. It also reflects a wider societal shift away from conventional relationship models, the idea being that you can still be in a serious and committed relationship with someone who isn\u2019t your spouse. Marriage rates have been dipping significantly in recent years, with data analysis by the London-based law firm Russell Cooke predicting that by 2050, only three in 10 people will be married, a marked shift from, say, 1970, when seven in 10 people were married.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe widespread use of \u2018partner\u2019 reflects a broader shift toward inclusivity, fluidity, and self-definition,\u201d says Dr Lalitaa Suglani, an eharmony relationship expert and award-winning psychologist. \u201cIt is also staying modern and choosing gender-neutral language to signal growing awareness that relationships don\u2019t need to be explained, categorised, or justified for public consumption.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>All this is a net positive \u2013 take one peek at the way Chalamet looks at Jenner during his speech, and you\u2019ll see what we mean. That isn\u2019t a couple who are over their heady romantic phase. In fact, they look like quite the opposite.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your support helps us to tell the story From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it&#8217;s investigating the financials of Elon Musk&#8217;s pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, &#8216;The A Word&#8217;, which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging. At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story. The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it. Your support makes all the difference. Read more What\u2019s in a name? Well, rather a lot, actually \u2013 at least when it comes to the person you\u2019re dating. Over the weekend, Timoth\u00e9e Chalamet made headlines for thanking his \u201cpartner of three years\u201d, aka Kylie Jenner, during his acceptance speech at the Critics Choice Awards in LA, where he took home the gong for Best Actor. \u201cLastly, I&#8217;ll just say thank you to my partner of three years,\u201d the 30-year-old said after thanking the litany of collaborators who worked with him on Marty Supreme. \u201cThank you for our foundation,\u201d he continued. \u201cI love you. I couldn&#8217;t do this without you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.\u201d It was a sweet public display of affection from the star of Marty Supreme, but declarations aside, it was his choice of wording that seemed to capture the internet\u2019s attention. \u201cIn Hollywood, \u2018partner\u2019 is more serious than \u2018girlfriend\u2019,\u201d speculated one fan. \u201cIt suggests equality, commitment, and walking through life together.\u201d Others argued the opposite, believing \u201cpartner\u201d to be a term of emotiona&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10449,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10448"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10448"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10448\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/10449"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10448"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10448"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10448"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}