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Your support makes all the difference.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nRead more<\/span><\/svg><\/span><\/button><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nSummer is here, bringing with it sun, sea, sand, and good times \u2014 if you can afford it.<\/p>\n
The pressure is on more than ever in the summer to say \u201cyes\u201d to that group vacation at a glamorous overseas location, the festival that will set you back hundreds of dollars, or a weekend in whatever is your town\u2019s nearest version of the Hamptons.<\/p>\n
Many Americans are struggling with the cost of living. This year, about a quarter of Americans (24 percent) will not have a vacation because of the cost, according to a recent survey. Of those who are planning to travel this summer, 29 percent said they will take on debt as a result, the survey by financial-comparison website Bankrate found.<\/p>\n
The latter is \u201cterrifying\u201d to former Wall Street trader-turned personal finance guru Vivian Tu, better known as YourRichBff, who advises her millions of followers on TikTok and Instagram.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt might be amazing to go on that trip today, and you might have so much fun,\u201d 31-year-old Tu told The Independent<\/em>. \u201cBut how are you going to feel when you spend the next two years paying for a vacation that lasted seven days? I think that’s a pretty sobering question.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
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open image in gallery<\/span><\/button><\/p>\n<\/div>About a quarter of Americans (24 percent) will not have a vacation because of the cost, according to a recent survey, and of those who are planning to travel this summer, 29 percent said they will take on debt as a result. (Getty\/iStock)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nNavigating the wealth gap with rich friends when you are not making anywhere near the same salary is awkward, uncomfortable, and seems to only be getting harder thanks to social media.<\/p>\n
Sam, 28, is originally from East Texas and now lives in Los Angeles. \u201cI’m a first generation college student, low income and trans,\u201d Sam, who attended an elite college on a diversity scholarship and asked to only be identified with their first name, told The Independent.<\/em> \u201cIn just about all of my friendships, there’s a wealth gap and that pretty much started in undergrad.\u201d<\/p>\nThey make approximately $48,000 after taxes working as a guidance counselor at a California university and feel \u201cisolated\u201d by the wealth gap in their friendship group. <\/p>\n
\u201cI’m coming into this elite college straight off of food stamps and all that stuff,\u201d Sam said. \u201cMost people’s families [at college] were upper-middle class to rich. One of the people I know, his family owns a fleet of private jets. So coming from a rural area, and then being put into that was kind of weird.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sam said summers were particularly bad, and that trend has continued post-college.<\/p>\n
\u201cEveryone I know was going on these big vacations and all these concerts,\u201d they said. \u201cI wasn’t even able to go to a concert until my first year of undergrad. I’ve never even left the United States for a trip.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sam doesn\u2019t get invited on vacations by their wealthier friends. \u201cIt’s probably because they know that I can’t afford it,\u201d Sam said. \u201cNot once have I ever been invited on any of these trips. I always get the photos. I always see the Instagram posts.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cIt does make me feel left out,\u201d Sam added. <\/p>\n
Personal finance expert Tu says that social media also has a lot to answer for. \u201cIt just starts to set an incredibly unrealistic expectation of how often we should be traveling, how much we should be spending, and how frequently we should be doing all of that,\u201d she told The Independent.<\/em><\/p>\nSam relates and said that social media has become a space for people to \u201cget Instagram likes\u201d and \u201cshow off their experiences\u201d to others. \u201cI think that’s just a really dangerous situation for people who are financially vulnerable,\u201d Sam said. <\/p>\n
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open image in gallery<\/span><\/button><\/p>\n<\/div>Navigating the wealth gap with rich friends when you are not making anywhere near the same salary is awkward, uncomfortable, and seems to only be getting harder thanks to social media. (Getty Images\/iStockphoto)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\u201cWe’re so desperate to be a part of culture, to be a part of the big moment. You want to have that story that everyone else has\u2026and you’re literally borrowing thousands of dollars to sit in an uncomfortable stadium to do it because your friends are doing it, or because you’re missing out.\u201d<\/p>\n
That feeling of disconnect is similar for 32-year-old Michelle, who lives in Nashville and works as a communications and events manager for a non-profit.<\/p>\n
Michelle, who makes around $65,000, and her boyfriend had a baby boy in December and can no longer keep up with the spending habits of their wealthier friends. <\/p>\n
\u201cThey just so frivolously spend money \u2014 like, they’ll randomly buy a new car, or jet skis or a brand new boat,\u201d Michelle told The Independent<\/em>. \u201cIt\u2019s just really mentally tapped to try to appear like I can keep up with them.\u201d<\/p>\nBefore she had the baby, Michelle said the group went on a $2,000 trip to Disney World that she couldn\u2019t afford. \u201cWhen I first started being exposed to this friend group, I would push my bank account, and I would really push my limits just so that I could hang out,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd it really kind of messed me up. It maxed out one of my credit cards.\u201d<\/p>\n
Since having a baby, priorities have changed. \u201cI am trying to figure out how to make sure I can get formula for my baby, and make food at home. I don’t want to go out to eat every single time that we hang out,\u201d she said. \u201cEvery single month our bank account, it’s just like we’re at like the bottom. So it’s very much like paycheck to paycheck,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n
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open image in gallery<\/span><\/button><\/p>\n<\/div>Destination weddings can be costly. In 2024, 18 percent of couples hosted a destination ceremony abroad, according to The Knot \u2019s 2025 wedding survey. (Alamy\/PA)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nHer boyfriend was once a high earner but he lost his job in the last year. He is now getting back on his feet and working again, but money has occasionally become a source of tension in the relationship, Michelle said. \u201cWe’ve had a lot of fights this year about money, and that has limited what we’re going to do this summer.\u201d<\/p>\n
The expense of weddings has also become a bone of contention, particularly if the nuptials involve travel. In 2024, 18 percent of couples hosting a destination ceremony abroad, according to The Knot<\/em>\u2019s 2025 wedding survey. <\/p>\nMichelle was recently a bridesmaid for two close friends, with one wedding in Florida\u2019s Key West and another in upstate New York, setting her back at least $3,000 per wedding, including travel and accommodation. \u201cI would do it a million times over for those girls, but it really does push your budget.\u201d<\/p>\n
The new mom says that financial stress has been impacting her mental health, a trend more therapists are noticing with patients.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople may not come to see me based on these feelings, but they most certainly come up in conversation,\u201d said Aja Evans, a therapist who specializes in financial therapy. \u201cComparison and pressure to keep up with friends is very common and unfortunately tends to skew how people look at themselves and their finances.\u201d<\/p>\n
Evans advocates being honest with friends about your financial situation, which can be a way of \u201cbreaking up the shame and isolation\u201d that comes with hiding it away.<\/p>\n
\u201cBeing honest with yourself around what you can and can\u2019t do, remembering that you are still a valuable and worthy friend despite how much money you have is very important,\u201d Evans said. \u201cAttempting to disconnect your self worth from your net worth can also be helpful. Then, have a conversation with your friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLetting them know how you feel, what you are doing in terms of your financial health and how you two can navigate the differences,\u201d Evans added. \u201cNow, this is very hard, being vulnerable is complicated and nuanced, so go easy on yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Top three tips for managing a wealth gap summer<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n\n
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open image in gallery<\/span><\/button><\/p>\n<\/div>Wall Street trader-turned personal finance guru Vivian Tu, better known as YourRichBff, advises her millions of followers on TikTok and Instagram. (Brendan Wixted)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n
Ask yourself: is it worth it?<\/h3>\n<\/p>\n Tu, who heads up her own financial education and advice company, says it is essential to consider what is \u201ctruly going to bring you value\u201d and not hurt you in the future at the same time.<\/p>\n
She has a handy tip that can help visualize whether that summer impulse purchase \u2013 be it new clothes, a night out or a trip \u2013 is worth it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI call it \u2018YourRichBFF is it Worth it? Equation,\u201d Tu said. \u201cFigure out how much your hourly take-home pay is, and that hourly take-home pay, essentially, is how many hours you\u2019ll need to sit at your desk to afford something.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSay your hourly take-home pay is $20, you go to a fancy store and you want to buy a pair of designer leggings for $100,\u201d Tu explained. \u201cYou have to sit at your desk for five hours. Ask yourself, are you willing to sit at your desk for five hours so that you can afford those leggings? And in some cases, the answer is yes. In some cases, the answer is no.\u201d<\/p>\n
Be honest with your friends and live within your means<\/h3>\n<\/p>\n \u201cYou need to be honest with your friends about your financial situation, but also you need to provide an alternative,\u201d Tu said. \u201cBecause what’s going to happen is if you continuously keep telling your friends, \u2018no, I can’t come, I can’t afford it,\u2019 suddenly they’re going to stop inviting you to stuff. <\/p>\n
\u201cOnce they stop inviting you to stuff, you are going to feel incredibly isolated,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t take on any unnecessary debt you can\u2019t pay off<\/h3>\n<\/p>\n Tu doesn\u2019t knock hard-pressed families who have to put basic necessities like food on a credit card. But she advises others to resist the temptation to splurge on \u201cthe fun stuff\u201d if it\u2019s not affordable it right now. <\/p>\n
\u201cThere are certainly folks in our country who are putting basic necessities like food on a credit card, not because they want to, but because they need to feed their families,\u201d Tu said. \u201cThis is not that. What I’m saying is, the visits to the nail salon, the drinks out with girlfriends, the fun stuff, if you are not in a position to be spending on that…it\u2019s going to keep you broke,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe all have to know our limits, and it’s not fair,\u201d Tu added. \u201cBut some people out there have parents who are paying their rent.\u201d <\/p>\n<\/div>\n