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From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it’s investigating the financials of Elon Musk’s pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, ‘The A Word’, which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.<\/p>\n
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Your support makes all the difference.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nRead more<\/span><\/svg><\/span><\/button><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nI<\/span> was sitting in a work meeting when I folded my arms and noticed a pea-shaped lump just above my right nipple. I left the room in a panic. I must have looked concerned as a colleague asked me what was wrong. I told him: \u201cI have just found a strange lump.\u201d<\/p>\nThe last thing on my mind was breast cancer; I\u2019d never heard of a man getting it. I thought I\u2019d pulled a muscle, or something like that. When men see the pink ribbon symbol for breast cancer, it\u2019s easy to switch off. Breast cancer is a gender-biased illness. The message I grew up with was that women should check themselves for breast cancer, not men.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t go to my GP and instead got on with my life. About two-and-a-half months later, I was driving home from a trip to Scotland, and I had my seatbelt across me, which felt painful on the lump. I mentioned it to my mum, who forced me to go to the GP. Looking back, it\u2019s so lucky I went then, as it could have easily killed me.<\/p>\n
The GP in London examined the lump and thought it might be gynecomastia \u2013 a non-cancerous enlargement of one or both breasts in men due to the growth of breast tissue.<\/p>\n
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open image in gallery<\/span><\/button><\/p>\n<\/div>Richards had nowhere to turn as a man with breast cancer \u2013 and faced his own mortality alone (James Richards)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nBut because I had a family history of breast cancer with my gran and aunt, the doctor <\/strong>decided to refer me to the breast cancer unit at Kingston Hospital.<\/p>\nI got the appointment within a week. If I\u2019d been a woman, I would have been worried during that time, but I didn\u2019t think much of it. It felt quite novel being surrounded by women in this unit as I was the only man. Then things started moving very quickly.<\/p>\n
I went into a room to see a breast cancer specialist and, before she had even felt the lump, she was adamant it was gynecomastia. She sent me for a biopsy downstairs just to be on the safe side.<\/p>\n
While I was lying in the ultrasound, I was cracking jokes as the doctor went to take the biopsy, until suddenly, it was like the air was sucked out of the room.<\/p>\n
The atmosphere changed \u2013 and there was no more laughing. She said, \u201cI\u2019ll just be one moment,\u201d and left the room. I was behind a curtain. I felt sick with nerves \u2013 what was going on?<\/p>\n
Everything felt like a blur as she returned to tell me she needed to take a biopsy from the lymph nodes under the arm.<\/p>\n
I went back upstairs to see the original consultant, and her tone had changed. \u201cWe\u2019ve seen thickening in the lymph node under the arm, and I\u2019m not happy with the lump on the chest.\u201d \u201cOkay, so what does this mean?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t think that, <\/strong>at this point, it had hit home that I could have cancer. I was told I needed to have a mammogram, and they would send the biopsy samples off to be tested. They said it could take 12 weeks to get the results back \u2013 and they\u2019d call me into the hospital. \u201cIt might be worth bringing somebody with you,\u201d the consultant said.<\/p>\nMy brain was rushing: \u201cOh my God, this could be bad,\u201d I thought to myself, as I sat outside Norbiton train station on my way home. I felt completely lost. I didn\u2019t want to call anyone.<\/p>\n\n
\nThe first piece of advice in the pack is to wear a loose-fitting bra. I made a joke on the car journey home: \u2018Let\u2019s go to M&S and get one.\u2019 But nobody laughed<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n
The maddest thing was I\u2019d sat on an ant\u2019s nest and I didn\u2019t realise until I was in a cab on the way back from the station that I was covered in ants. I told my partner and my parents about what I\u2019d been told at the hospital. We were all in shock.<\/p>\n
But I soon forgot about it. While it <\/strong>was in the back of my mind, I thought, \u201cI\u2019m 36 \u2013 and a man.\u201d I didn\u2019t think in a million years I\u2019d have breast cancer.<\/p>\nIn less than 24 hours, I got a call from the hospital. I was told I would have to go in for an appointment the next day to get my results. It still hadn\u2019t sunk in that anything was wrong. I went with my parents and my partner \u2013 my mum insisted on coming in to see the consultant with me. The door opened, and from one glance, I could tell it was bad news. I nearly walked out.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe results are back, and I\u2019m sorry to say you have stage three breast cancer,\u201d the consultant told me. I was startled, but before she\u2019d even finished her sentence, I said, \u201cBut it\u2019s curable, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d she said. \u201cBut it\u2019s going to be tough.\u201d I was given a breast cancer pack, and we walked out of the room. I hid in the toilet, while my mum told my partner. I couldn\u2019t face it. I heard a scream and my partner burst into tears. <\/p>\n
The first piece of advice in the pack is to wear a loose-fitting bra. I made a joke on the car journey home: \u201cLet\u2019s go to M&S and get one.\u201d But nobody laughed. I was told I\u2019d have to have chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and surgery, either a mastectomy or a double one \u2013 and my cancer had spread to the lymph node too. <\/p>\n
I was terrified every time the phone rang. I was inundated with hospital appointments and calls. <\/p>\n
I went to meet my oncologist, who said he needed to prepare me for something. The MRI scan showed the lymph nodes in my neck were also swollen, which suggested the cancer had spread \u2013 which meant I\u2019d be stage 4, not stage 3. A CT scan I was due would show this.<\/p>\n
The doctor told me <\/strong>this would have implications for the treatment plan. Most alarmingly, she said it would involve living with the condition, with treatment to slow it down and improve my quality of life.<\/p>\nI felt like my life was over. There was a week\u2019s wait for the results of the CT scan \u2013 and it was the darkest period of my life. I had decided I wasn\u2019t going to tell anybody if it was stage 4. I didn\u2019t want sympathy. I felt so alone. Who could I reach out to? Women who had breast cancer? It didn\u2019t feel right.<\/p>\n
I was facing my own mortality. The day before the results were due, I walked for miles. The sun was setting by a pub, and I got a call from an unnamed number, and it was the consultant. I had stage 3 cancer, not stage 4. They\u2019d misdiagnosed it. \u201cDid you know you had a tooth infection?\u201d she asked me, citing this as the reason for the enlarged lymph nodes on my neck.<\/p>\n
It sounds insane, but I went over to my neighbour\u2019s house and we celebrated. I failed to see the reality: I had cancer.<\/p>\n
Halfway through the chemotherapy, the protocol changed. I had to have it more regularly, as doctors decided it was not only just estrogen-driven, but genetic. This meant I\u2019d also have to have a double mastectomy.<\/p>\n
\n
\n<\/p>\n
open image in gallery<\/span><\/button><\/p>\n<\/div>Richards while he was going through treatment for breast cancer (James Ricahrds)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nI went to see a plastic surgeon who belittled me and said, \u201cWell, it\u2019s not really the same as it is for a woman, is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Men, as it is, are so ashamed to talk about this stuff. But everything from the medication, the literature, and the treatment plan, is based on a female pathway, due to a lack of data for men with breast cancer.<\/p>\n
Eventually, I didn\u2019t even have a mastectomy. I challenged it after talking to a geneticist. I had a central excision, which is just removing the nipple and a little bit of the skin around it.<\/p>\n
After the chemotherapy and the surgery, I was told the cancer had spread a bit more in the lymph nodes \u2013 so I would need further surgery to get rid of them all under the arm, as a precaution. By the time I got the first piece of good news, I was numb. The surgery was successful, so I only had the radiotherapy to mop up \u2013 and then I was done.<\/p>\n
I found readjusting back to life harder <\/strong>than the actual treatment itself. I was lost. I left my job, and I stayed in a monastery in Scotland, to help find myself. It\u2019s only now in the past few months that I feel I\u2019m on track again living my life. I wanted a fresh start \u2013 I\u2019ve changed my number and deleted my social media. I split up with my partner.<\/p>\nNow,<\/strong> I\u2019ve come out the other side \u2013 I\u2019m not defined by disease. I don\u2019t think about cancer every day, but at same time, I have a duty to raise awareness in men with breast cancer and change the narrative. It\u2019s a big ship to turn \u2013 but it has given me a bigger purpose, which I\u2019m grateful for. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Your support helps us to tell the story From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it’s investigating the financials of Elon Musk’s pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, ‘The A Word’, which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging. At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story. The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it. Your support makes all the difference. Read more I was sitting in a work meeting when I folded my arms and noticed a pea-shaped lump just above my right nipple. I left the room in a panic. I must have looked concerned as a colleague asked me what was wrong. I told him: \u201cI have just found a strange lump.\u201d The last thing on my mind was breast cancer; I\u2019d never heard of a man getting it. I thought I\u2019d pulled a muscle, or something like that. When men see the pink ribbon symbol for breast cancer, it\u2019s easy to switch off. Breast cancer is a gender-biased illness. The message I grew up with was that women should check themselves for breast cancer, not men. I didn\u2019t go to my GP and instead got on with my life. About two-and-a-half months later, I was driving home from a trip to Scotland, and I had my seatbelt across me, which felt painful on the lump. I mentioned it to my mum, who forced me to go to the GP. Looking back, it\u2019s so lucky I went then, as it could have easily killed me. The GP in London examined the lump and thought it might be gynecomastia \u2013 a non-cancerous e…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6777,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6776"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6776"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6776\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6777"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6776"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6776"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6776"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}