\n
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it’s investigating the financials of Elon Musk’s pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, ‘The A Word’, which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.<\/p>\n
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.<\/p>\n
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.<\/p>\n
Your support makes all the difference.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nRead more<\/span><\/svg><\/span><\/button><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nA<\/span>n explosive tell-all interview in Vanity Fair<\/em> by Susie Wiles, the White House chief of staff, reveals her experience of what president Donald Trump and his inner circle are really like behind closed doors in Washington DC. <\/p>\nIn the piece that was published on Tuesday, Wiles declares JD Vance has been a \u201cconspiracy theorist for a decade\u201d, and Elon Musk is an \u201codd, odd duck\u201d and an \u201cavowed ketamine [user]\u201d who \u201csleeps in a sleeping bag in the EOB [Executive Office Building]\u201d. But the big hitter? Trump, who is famously teetotal, has an \u201calcoholic\u2019s personality\u201d because he believes \u201cthere\u2019s nothing he can\u2019t do\u201d. <\/p>\n
Although Wiles has since distanced herself from the piece in a post on X, calling it \u201ca disingenuously framed hit piece\u201d, the Vanity Fair <\/em>writer Chris Whipple, who met with Wiles 11 times over 11 months, says that \u201ceverything is on tape\u201d.<\/p>\nYet one thing is clear: Wiles, 68, who played a key part in Trump’s successful 2024 presidential campaign before becoming the first woman to be White House chief of staff, is in a position to label Trump an \u201calcoholic\u2019s personality\u201d \u2013 as am I. <\/p>\n
As she explains in the interview, her own father, the legendary NFL broadcaster Pat Summerall, was an alcoholic who went through the Betty Ford Clinic in 1992 \u2013 and it makes her \u201ca little bit of an expert in big personalities\u201d. As Wiles put it: He \u201coperates [with] a view that there\u2019s nothing he can\u2019t do. Nothing, zero, nothing.\u201d <\/p>\n
I am a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for over 20 years and I, like Susie, recognise the red flag \u201calcoholic\u2019s personality\u201d traits rather too vividly in Trump. For me, it\u2019s a case of \u201cif you spot it, you got it\u201d.<\/p>\n
This single-minded determination that Wiles is describing \u2013 that obsessive \u201cit\u2019s your way, or the highway\u201d \u2013 is textbook \u201cdry drunk\u201d behaviour.<\/p>\n
I should know. When I hit rock bottom and arrived in rehab at the Priory in my early twenties, as well as many other rehabs up and down the country, I was handed many books about the alcoholic personality to educate myself on my affliction. <\/p>\n
Until then, I\u2019d always thought that it was just alcohol that was my problem and that if I could just quit drinking, I\u2019d be fine. I was misguided. As I realised when I gave up alcohol, it was only the tip of the iceberg. My alcoholic personality was always there on my shoulder, like a monkey, and could destroy me and everything around me like a train without brakes, with or without substances. <\/p>\n
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\n<\/p>\n
open image in gallery<\/span><\/button><\/p>\n<\/div>Donald Trump, with his father Fred, whose eldest son, Fred Jr, died in 1981 at the age of 42 from a heart attack brought on by excessive drinking (Bernard Gotfryd\/Library of Congress)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\nTrump\u2019s behaviour suggests that he is fearful of spiralling into addiction himself. He doesn\u2019t drink at all. He was put off after he experienced its destruction in his much-loved older brother Fred, an alcoholic, who died in 1981 at the age of 42 from a heart attack brought on by excessive drinking.<\/p>\n
Trump told Fox News after his election in 2016: \u201cIf you don\u2019t start, you\u2019re never going to have a problem. If you do start, you might have a problem. And it\u2019s a tough problem to stop.\u201d <\/p>\n
But the truth is, as I have experienced, just because somebody doesn\u2019t drink, doesn\u2019t mean they aren\u2019t riddled with the \u201cisms\u201d which can come out in relationships, shopping, sex, food, work, love and gambling \u2013 and many other ways. <\/p>\n
In rehab, we learnt about \u201cKing Baby\u201d (aka the alcoholic\u2019s personality) \u2013 a term coined by Freud. The characteristics of a \u201cKing Baby\u201d include difficulty accepting criticism or feedback; blaming others for problems or mistakes; expecting special treatment or believing normal rules do not apply to them; avoiding personal responsibility, a constant need for approval and validation from others; and all-or-nothing thinking and seeing situations in extremes.<\/p>\n
\u201cAn alcoholic personality probably means somebody who is not drinking alcohol, but has an addictive personality that will manifest in all domains, in relationships, whether that is with people, food, sex, money, or shopping, and is driven by a need for more,\u201d says Dr Cosmo Duff Gordon, an addiction specialist and founder of Chelsea Recovery Associates. <\/p>\n
\u201cNothing is ever really going to be enough,\u201d he adds. \u201cIn the same way, there is never enough alcohol for an alcoholic, for the alcoholic personality that is not drinking, that sense of not enough will express itself in all other areas of life.\u201d Importantly, he says, it will be accompanied by a \u201cdisregard for other people\u201d because he says \u201cthe alcoholic\u2019s personality at root thinks he or she is the centre of the universe\u201d. <\/p>\n
\u201cThey are self-centred, obsessive, compulsive, impulsive \u2013 and typically in denial,\u201d he adds.<\/p>\n\n
\nThe characteristics of a \u2018King Baby\u2019 aka \u2018alcoholic\u2019s personality\u2019 include difficulty accepting criticism or feedback, blaming others for problems or mistakes, expecting special treatment, and believing normal rules do not apply to them<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n
Likewise, the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book<\/em> describes the alcoholic\u2019s personality as \u201cselfishness \u2013 self-centredness!\u201d \u201cThat, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows.\u201d<\/p>\nWhen I ended up in rehab, it was painful working out that the world didn\u2019t revolve around me, as I was confronted in group therapy and forced to see my blind spots. I was clueless \u2013 and had never considered how anyone else might feel. I had to change my behaviour and thinking, or most likely, die.<\/p>\n
Then I was driven by obsession and compulsion, sober. Even in romantic relationships, I was a love addict who was seeking a relationship to fill a void. I was often the last person to realise anything was wrong with my behaviour or thinking \u2013 because I was often in denial.<\/p>\n
Now over 20 years sober, if I don\u2019t continue to work on myself \u2013 and have self-awareness \u2013 I will end up with zero compromise and an authoritarian or inflexible stance, which is known in recovery circles as \u201cself will run riot\u201d, and it usually ends in tears.<\/p>\n
It has taken me years of hard work to slow down enough not to react like a firecracker \u2013 and to look at my true motives. I have had to turn my life around by being of service to others rather than looking out for myself 24\/7, and to learn how to sit with my feelings rather than constantly act out on them. <\/p>\n
Mainly, I have had to learn to love myself, re-parent myself, and to apologise when my \u201calcoholic personality\u201d cuts people off mid-sentence, and fails to see any other point of view than my own. <\/p>\n
Many people believe a leopard never changes its spots, but this is dangerous thinking. <\/p>\n
Change is the only way to survive alcoholism \u2013 or the alcoholic\u2019s personality \u2013 but sadly, unless you hit a major rock bottom, change isn\u2019t a priority. Being a \u201cKing Baby\u201d without drinking is like being high on power, and it has its plus points. Nothing will get in your way, and failure is not an option. There is simply no time to do any deep soul searching when you\u2019re stuck in that gear; you\u2019re unstoppable \u2013 and are always the last person to realise you\u2019re totally insane.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Your support helps us to tell the story From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it’s investigating the financials of Elon Musk’s pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, ‘The A Word’, which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging. At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story. The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it. Your support makes all the difference. Read more An explosive tell-all interview in Vanity Fair by Susie Wiles, the White House chief of staff, reveals her experience of what president Donald Trump and his inner circle are really like behind closed doors in Washington DC. In the piece that was published on Tuesday, Wiles declares JD Vance has been a \u201cconspiracy theorist for a decade\u201d, and Elon Musk is an \u201codd, odd duck\u201d and an \u201cavowed ketamine [user]\u201d who \u201csleeps in a sleeping bag in the EOB [Executive Office Building]\u201d. But the big hitter? Trump, who is famously teetotal, has an \u201calcoholic\u2019s personality\u201d because he believes \u201cthere\u2019s nothing he can\u2019t do\u201d. Although Wiles has since distanced herself from the piece in a post on X, calling it \u201ca disingenuously framed hit piece\u201d, the Vanity Fair writer Chris Whipple, who met with Wiles 11 times over 11 months, says that \u201ceverything is on tape\u201d. Yet one thing is clear: Wiles, 68, who played a key part in Trump’s successful 2024 presidential campaign before becoming the first woman to be White House chief of staff, …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9812,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9811"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9811"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9811\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9812"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9811"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9811"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.seekyourlove.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9811"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}